How To Successfully Co-Parent With An Ex

In recent years, the number of divorces has been on the rise. And while some relationships end amicably, others do not. This can make co-parenting with an ex a difficult task. I was only married once before if you read "Ex-husband Stories #1" then you already know why mine definitely was not an amicable split. Even though I broke off the relationship with my first child's father because he was cheating I thought we would have a decent co-parenting relationship and over the last 16 years that also has not been very good either for different reasons. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to remember that the well-being of your children should be your top priority. Here are some tips on how to successfully co-parent with an ex:

• Establish clear boundaries and expectations.

• Communicate with each other openly and honestly.

• Respect each other’s time and space.

• Seek professional help if necessary.

• Put your children first.

I know some people will think that I am not the best example to follow on any of this. I don't think in my situation co-parenting is lacking due to anything on my part. Coming from my background in foster care and adoption I wish my children's fathers would want to be in their lives. I know what it is like to miss a parent and I wish all children could have both parents in their lives. There are instances where that is not feasible or best for the child, but I do wish that all children could have that. Even if it isn't working for me I do think I have some valid ideas on how to make it work.

Establish clear boundaries and expectations

It is important to establish some ground rules when co-parenting with an ex. This will help make the process a lot smoother and prevent conflict. Sit down with your ex and discuss how you will handle things such as decision-making, communication, and scheduling. It is also essential to agree on a parenting style that you both are comfortable with. My mom is like the second parent to my children so no matter if my children are with her or me the same rules apply. If they are on some type of punishment/restriction they will still carry over. This way they can't ask me to go to her house just to get off of the punishment.

Communicate with each other openly and honestly

It is important to keep the lines of communication open when co-parenting with an ex. I'm sure you have heard the quote from Benjamin Franklin - "Honesty is the best policy".This includes communicating about things such as schedules, discipline, and schoolwork. You should also set up a system where you can easily communicate with each other if there are any changes or problems that arise. This goes back to what I was saying when my children go to my mom's since we talk almost every day there is no way for my children to try to play both sides. We were their age once and we weren't angels so we all know if we could try to get over on our parents when they wouldn't let us do something we would.

Respect each other’s time and space

In any relationship, it is important to be willing to compromise. This is especially true when co-parenting with an ex. There will be times when you will have to compromise on things such as time spent with the children. It is important to remember that compromise is necessary in order to make things work smoothly for everyone involved. When I think of respecting space I took it a few ways. First, stay out of their personal space meaning keep your hands to yourself. Second, if there is a disagreement give the other person space to cool down, and don't try to force a conversation if they aren't ready. Unless it is an emergency or it's time sensitive for the child. Lastly, when your child is with the other parent you don't have to call every 10 seconds to check on the child or to just interrupt their time with the other parent.

Seek Help If You Need It

Parenting can be a difficult task, even under the best of circumstances. If you are struggling to co-parent with an ex, don’t hesitate to seek out outside support from friends or family members. They can provide you with much-needed emotional support during this difficult time. There are also many support groups available for parents who are going through a divorce or breakup. These groups can provide you with invaluable advice and support from people who are going through similar situations. There are also counselors and therapists who can help you work through any personal issues that may be affecting your ability to co-parent successfully.

Put The Kids First

Even though you may not be together anymore, it is still important to respect your ex. This means being civil and respectful when communicating with them. Avoid arguing or putting each other down in front of the children. Try to resolve any disagreements in a calm and mature manner. When I started having children my mom always told me not to talk badly about my child's father in front of the child. I honestly do think this is a really good policy. I want my child to form an opinion about their father based on how their father treats them. It is easy to get caught up in the small details when co-parenting with an ex. But it is important to remember that not every little thing is worth arguing over. If you can let go of the small stuff, it will make the overall process a lot easier for everyone involved. Getting angry or upset will only make things more difficult. If you find yourself getting angry, take a step back and try to calm down before continuing the conversation.

When it comes to parenting, there are a lot of things that can go wrong. It is important to remember that co-parenting is not always easy and you will have to work through some disagreements with your ex. It is important for both parents to set a good example for the child(ren) when it comes to their behavior and how they interact with each other. Co-Parenting is not a skill you are born with or that can be taught in advance. You and the other part need to work as a team for the well-being of your child. As long as you both are putting the child(ren) first and are communicating with each other with respect, I think you should be fine.

Unapologetically,

K