Ex-husband Stories #1

12 July 2022 21:39

Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence.

So I am really getting into blogging. I think I prefer this to my other social media. Maybe it's because I'm not limited to a certain amount of characters. It could also be because this is new and I have no readers, but I also don't feel trapped in the box of the exceptions of my friends and loved ones. I was asking my daughter what should be the topic for this post and all she could come up with was all the failed dating relationships I have had.

Starting from the time I was 18 it has been one failed relationship after another. These 2 were really bad. I have already shared the story about my most recent ex. If you haven't read go read my post called "Everything in its own time". I won't dive too deep into this because this is still a bit traumatic. When I first met my now ex-husband Saw him but didn't see him. Meaning I wasn't instantly attracted to him. He was not that bad of a person or so he portrayed until we were married. I decided to give him a chance just because he wouldn't stop chasing me. As I previously stated before I'm adopted. My biological father was dating his biological mother and had been for over 10 yrs. I didn't know my husband even though our parents were dating because he wasn't around for the first 4 years after my father came back into my life.

So that was another reason I wasn't really paying him any attention. It just seemed a little awkward and not right to date him. As I said he wouldn't stop trying though. So I spoke with my mom about my feelings and decided technically there wasn't anything wrong with dating him. We are not blood-related, our parents have no children together, and we didn't grow up together in the same home. So fast forward to August 2016 and we get married and yes our biological parents were and still are together. I went back in September. That was the first time he put his hands on me. What started that particular disagreement was he wanted to discipline my now 10-year-old son who was 5 at the time with a spanking. When he hit him the 2nd time I knew he was never gonna do that again. I burst into the room and told him to stop he said either it was me or my son. As any parent would of course I wasn't gonna let him touch my child again.

It was a knockdown drag-out and I ended up with a black eye and a busted blood vessel in said eye. I cried he cried and apologized and said he would never do it again. Which is what they all say, but 9 times out of 10 they do it again. So everything was sunshine and rainbows for about a week. Then he did it again and I still had the jacked-up eye. So the next day he rode with me to drop my children off at school because he wouldn't allow me to leave the house alone. I guess he was afraid I would tell. Side note I had seen my family during this time and was just so embarrassed that I couldn't tell them how I got the black eye I'm sure they probably knew or suspected because they all had been around him for years before I met him and no one warned he was like that.

So when we got back home from dropping the kids off it felt like we fought all day. He wouldn't let me leave unless he went with me. I was texting with a friend from work because I had called into work that day she was worried about me. Eventually, I told her what was going on. I was so mentally, emotionally, and physically drained and she said to call the police or she would. Of course, I felt guilty he was my husband and I didn't know if the police would believe me so I just kept stalling her. So finally around the time I had to get the kids from school, we decided that for our safety I would get the kids and come to her house. Of course, that didn't work because he wouldn't let me go alone. When we get there I call her and tell her he came with me so I couldn't get away.

God must have been watching over me because for pick up you have to get the kids from inside the school. Smart girl that she is she said to go inside and just tell the school what happened and have them call. Of course, once I did that they secured me and the kids in the school for our safety. He tried to get in to find us since I had been inside for a long time, but by that time the police showed up and he went to jail for the first but not only time for domestic violence. Once I and the kids left the school I just had a weird feeling that I was pregnant so I took a test later that night and it was positive. To sum it up since this has gotten rather long. I wouldn't testify so they dropped the case and he got out of jail. I'm gonna say it was because of stress, but I also suffered my first miscarriage. Thanks for reading I have many more stories so stay tuned.

Unapologetically,

K