The best advice you could ever get about parenting

The best advice I could ever get about parenting is to love your children unconditionally. It's important not to overthink it, and to remember that there's no "right way" to raise kids. Parenting does not happen in a vacuum—it's interactive between you and other parents as well as between you and your children. But ultimately, you are the one who chooses how to raise your kids, even if everyone else has an opinion about it!

• Be honest about your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

• Be patient when dealing with your kids' behavior.

• Be consistent in terms of enforcing rules and consequences for misbehavior.

• Be kind to your children by showing them affection when they need it most (i.e., when they've been bad).

• Encourage your kids to set goals for themselves and reward their positive actions accordingly.

• Show them how much you love them through the way you act around them—do this by being a good role model who lives by example!

There is no right way to raise children. And that's what makes parenting so fun and exciting: there are endless possibilities for learning, exploration, and development. The only thing you have to do is take care of your child as best as you can—and that's easier than it sounds when you don't overthink things! If someone tells you something about raising kids or asks for advice, remember not to compare yourself with them or anyone else. Just listen politely and try not to judge their methods too harshly (or yourself). Listen carefully if somebody offers advice about something specific (like breastfeeding vs bottle-feeding), but don't let it get you down if someone doesn't have a solution for whatever problem brought them into conversation with you in the first place!

Parenting does not happen in a vacuum, and you can learn from other parents. That doesn't mean that their advice is always right or that you should take it as gospel; sometimes, other people's wisdom is just plain wrong. But learning from others has its own benefits: they've been down the road before you, and they have insights into what works and what doesn't work for them. If they've made mistakes along the way, those mistakes could help you avoid making similar ones yourself.

You are in charge of your own children, and that means doing things YOUR way. You are the parent. You are responsible for your child’s well-being and life. That means that no matter who tells you otherwise if it’s not working out for your child then it isn’t going to work out. If another parent says they do something different, and their kid is fine, great! Maybe they have a different personality than yours or maybe they were just blessed with a good kid who doesn’t need much parenting at all anyway? But in the end, either way, you are still responsible for YOUR KID! So don’t feel bad when someone scoffs at how many toys their kid has or how many hours, they spend playing video games or whatnot because your kid will turn out just fine no matter how much time he spends learning math or his favorite color or whatever else floats his boat this week.

The point I am making here is that as parents we must recognize that we are individually responsible for our own children (even if others don't see themselves as such). We can only do what feels right to us and hope that our kids will turn out okay in spite of any mistakes we might make along the way (because let's face it: there WILL be mistakes). We also need to remember not just other people's advice but also our own instincts about what works best when raising little humans who aren't exactly like us yet still need guidance from those who love them most--us!

Be honest with them. Your kids will pick up on your unexpressed opinions anyway, so let them hear the truth. You might be thinking that honesty sounds harsh and mean, but it's not. Honesty doesn't have to be blunt or hurtful; it can be gentle and supportive. When you tell your child their behavior is unacceptable, it helps them learn right from wrong without making them feel like a bad person for having made a mistake or for being human in general.

Treat them like they're adults, even if they are toddlers. Explain your decisions and reasoning to them and listen to their points of view. When you're explaining things to your kids, make sure they understand why you're doing them. "I'm going to turn off the TV because we need to get ready for bed" is better than "Because I said so!" If they have a different point of view than yours, try listening and having a conversation about it. This can be hard! But if you disagree with their opinion, don't say "No," just explain why you think differently. You might even be surprised by what they have to say!

But don't be afraid to set boundaries and clear expectations, either. It's appropriate to tell your child "No." You'll also want to set clear expectations for your children. You may feel like a cranky old man saying "no" all the time, but it's better than letting your kids go wild and wondering what you were trying to teach them. When it comes down to it, parenting is about consistency and fairness. When you're consistent, your child will do better in school because they know what to expect from you on a daily basis. If one day you let them stay up late and play video games without reprimand, that has consequences when the next day comes around—your child may think he can get away with wearing his pajama pants outside or coming home late from school without repercussions. It's important that your kid understands what you mean when they hear those magic words: "Because I said so."

Don't worry about which parenting book is right. Just follow your instincts, but also ask for professional help if you need it. You might be worried about what parenting book to use, or whether you can trust yourself to make the right decisions for your child. Don't worry about it! Your instincts will take care of you, but if you feel like they aren't enough, there are professionals who can help. They're called "pediatricians," and they're willing to listen and give advice when needed. Don't worry if you get something wrong—every parent makes mistakes sometimes; being a parent isn't easy! As long as you try your best, that's all anyone could ask of any new parent (or anyone else).

Your child will grow up no matter what you do as a parent, so don't feel like there's too much at stake if you get something wrong. You'll never have all the answers, so learn how to forgive yourself for mistakes you make as a parent. The most important thing you can do as a parent is to forgive yourself for your mistakes and accept that you don't have all the answers. You'll make mistakes because, well, parenting is hard. And it's okay to make mistakes! What's not okay is beating yourself up over them or letting them discourage you from trying again in the future. The more experience you have as a parent, the better equipped you'll be to handle situations like this in the future.

The most important thing is to love your kids unconditionally—and the rest will fall into place. You can teach them all the things they need to know and help them reach their goals, but if you don’t have a strong foundation of unconditional love, everything else falls apart.

Your children need to know that they are loved no matter what they do or how they behave. They need this reassurance every day as they grow and develop into adults who are able to make their own choices in life.

Unapologetically,

K