Can't have one without the other

10 August 2022 20:32

So, I have been wanting to share my adoption story for quite a while now. I have the first part written but every time I sit down to keep writing the next part, I can’t seem to bring myself to keep going. I’m not going to just put part 1 out without more of the story because it’s got some triggering content. I don’t want that just hanging out there without the rest of the story. I had to stop because talking about that part of my life is hard on me mentally and emotionally. Then every time I decide to write the next part I have to reread where I ended, and it brings it all back. Plus, I didn’t tell my biological family I was posting it. I just don’t want to have them blindsided. It’s my truth but it doesn’t exactly portray them in the most positive light.

It’s not that I delved into 100% of what was going on leading up to my time in foster care and my subsequent adoption but what I have shared is enough that people will have a negative view of my birth parents. They are not the same people anymore and I hold no animosity towards them, so I don’t want others to think negatively of them either. I’m in a much better mental space today maybe I should just tweak the story to do it all in one part like just give a general overview. Yea that will be much better and sits better with my spirit. Then maybe at a later date, I might go more in-depth with the story or possibly share it in a podcast. I do need to diversify my content and plan out what I will use the various avenues for.

This process is fluid and I need to plan out and nail down how I can use all the avenues I have to make this site something special. Y’all, know I hate being redundant, but I think this venture will have some elements that are shared. I want everyone to be able to participate in a way that makes them comfortable. My adoptive mom doesn’t do social media or the internet so for her she would probably be more into the podcast or Youtube channel. There honestly was no main topic in the post. I just felt the need to write and see where it takes me. I figure this is better than continuing to tweak the site layout before I completely revamp that again.

It’s probably because I don’t have everything, I need for the Youtube and podcast that I have too much time on my hands that I constantly obsess over the website and blog. I’m just going to say I really will probably change the website. I see so many layouts that look so awesome and I just want this website to be the best that it can be. Most of my choices are just because I’m tired of searching so I just pick something. Well, I looked, and I didn’t find anything better. I have been working on this post off and on today while I’ve been cleaning. I don’t know why having a clean house puts you in a good mood.

I do feel productive today I only need to clean my room and bathroom and my parts of the house will be great. I have tons and tons of laundry though so that will take days to get caught up. Depression sucks I’ve been needing to do this cleaning for a while now. I guess I need to get back to that and figure out a better post to put up later. As a matter of fact, I already have one. See y’all in a few.

Unapologetically,

K