Everything in its own time

12 July 2022 03:59

This story I'm about to tell reached its conclusion 2 days ago. Yes, I know it's gonna sound kinda crazy, but it's very true. Back in 2019, I was stationed in a foreign country for a deployment I volunteered for. It wasn't that great but I'll delve more into that in other posts. So I met a man probably about 3-4 months before I was to return home and we started dating. We shall call him DJ. He was not from the same state as me which should have been my first clue that it wasn't going to end well. This was about a year after I ended things with my husband. Don't judge me for this because no one is perfect and everybody does things they aren't proud of.

So back to the story...When I met DJ I didn't even really feel anything, but to be honest I'm iffy about bringing new people around me. The second time I saw him I was feeling pretty bold also there wasn't a lot to do on base. So I approached him and let him know I was interested in getting to know him better. If my dating history has taught me anything I'm not the best judge of character. So we started hanging out and after my disaster of a marriage, he was a breath of fresh air. He seemed to be exactly what I wanted in a future companion. He had just the right amount of street swagger but still knows how to treat a lady. Things between us were amazing the rest of the time I was there.

When I got home he was still there since his unit arrived after mine did. Of course, things weren't the same in terms of communication because the time difference is about 12 hours. Plus I had 3 children at home and was working full-time. He seemed to still be trying to maintain our relationship or so I thought. We talked on the phone, texted, video called, and he was always sending me gifts. Fast forward to May 2020 and the start of the demise of the relationship. I like to think that I'm just not good at long distances and I have major trust issues. Honestly, though this is my first lapse like that because when I love someone I love hard and it's hard for me to move on. So the only thing I can think is that I didn't love him like I thought I did. I had a lapse in judgment and made a mistake which is how my now 1 yr old started his life journey. Me being the woman I am I had to tell DJ and hope for the best so that's what I did. To his credit, he didn't just leave so I thought maybe we could work it out, because that is what I would have done and that is what I do.

He asked very embarrassing questions and I was overwhelmed with shame and guilt. I answered everyone honestly and he said he needed some time. So I gave him that hoping he wouldn't leave because I thought he was "The One". I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me. So finally he appears to be working on forgiveness and we are talking. Things aren't exactly how they used to be, but I was hopeful that we could still make it work. Come August 2020 he says he can't do it, he tried but he just can't get over it. I am crushed and devastated, but what can I do it was my fault, right??? So we don't talk anymore until October 2020 he calls me out of the blue we make small talk, and he asks me about my life, the kids, and the baby situation. Then he throws a grenade into my heart and tells me he is in a relationship with a baby on the way. He states he wanted to tell me so I wouldn't hear it from anyone else.

According to my bestie (we will call her GiGi) he only called to hurt me because we don't live in the same state and have no mutual friends so there wasn't any reason he needed to call to tell me that. Which makes sense and I can't think of any other legitimate reason. If anybody has any other explanations message me on TikTok. I was destroyed so I tried to put him out of my mind and my heart, but deep down I still loved him and wanted him to come back. Also, sidenote this is based on his telling me about his baby in October I'm expecting his son to be around 5-6 months younger than my son. Now comes July 2022 which is now almost 2 years later. Still not over him. Honestly, I feel like everything you do in the dark will come to the light. This is the wake-up call I needed. I was bored so I decided to start my internet sleuthing trying to see if I can find him on social media and see what he was up to.

I find pay dirt......multiple Social media accounts for him. What I found had me ready to cry and also make me wanna scream. Anyone wanna know what the tea is??? I won't keep you guessing he had to have started the relationship with the baby's mother while I was waiting for him to figure out what was going to happen between us and before he broke off our relationship because I found photographic pictures with dates and his son is no more than 2-3 weeks younger than my son. Yes I know I shouldn't have been bothered by this discovery, but I was. Today I just feel nothing no sadness, no anger, no love. The moral of the story is just to move on and let go.

Unapologetically,

K