Just Want to Find My Purpose

12 September 2022 00:15

I've been feeling a lot better physically and mentally lately. I'm not sleeping the greatest but that's not unusual. So I'm feeling really good about the blog. I just wish I was squared away for Youtube and the podcast. I just wish I was feeling good about the other parts of my life. I still haven't found a job and I'm still contemplating going back to school because I don't really know what I want to do. I know I need some writing classes though. If it wasn't for Grammarly these posts would be all kinds of jacked up. I think I'm going to start writing motivational quotes on the post I write that are basically just for me. All I know for sure is that I want to do something that helps people.

I feel so behind on life at this point. Why am I 35 and just now figuring out who I am. As the saying goes it's better late than never. I just don't want to spend 4 years trying to get a degree at this age. I'll be working until I'm on my deathbed at this rate trying to earn a retirement. I think I'm going to start reading this book I never finished called "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I started it a few times but I never finished it. I feel like through a lot of reflection and just taking time for myself I will eventually get everything back on track. I have quite a few motivational and Inspirational books on my bookshelf and I never finish reading them but give me a fiction novel and I finish it in no time flat.

I can spend my whole day sucked into social media and television so I think that will probably be something I add in during my fast hours. So instead of sitting around doing nothing that will be my time for more product things like reading, meditating, or exercising. Especially if the kids are sleep. I've been getting better about getting them to bed so I can have me time. I just need to use that time better. Like right now I'm writing this post and watching tv. It's pretty late so I'm going to start this book and go to bed. I don't know why but I am feeling really good today. I have a blog post started already so it ill probably be posted later today or tomorrow. I want to make a routine for posting but I also don't like routine. I have so many posts on here already. I think my goal is going to be every other day but I really have to get in to current events. I don't have a lot going on in that category.

This is the times I wish I had cable or got the newspaper because then I could see the news and know what's going on in the world. TikTok isn't all bad but it's mostly just drama news. I don't even think I knew there was a war going on between Russia and Ukraine. I may have heard about it but with me going through a depression episode for a while I really didn't care much what was going on with anyone besides myself and my kids. So please don't judge me for being behind the times. Unless you have been through it or know someone who has you don't really know what it's like. Even then it doesn't look the same for everybody.

Unapologetically,

K